Everything is Kosher

I just had my first Kosher serving experience!  It was great.  The kosher-ness was almost, mostly lost on me.  If there wasn't a Rabbi present, I might not have noticed.  We didn't serve any meat and dairy together and there was obviously no pork.  Also, none of us cooks were allowed to bring our own knives.  Everything at the gig was supplied by Nava catering which specializes in serving kosher food in a kosher manner.

The event was thrown by Hillel:  the largest Jewish campus organization in the world.  The dinner was a fundraiser for the campus.  I didn't get to see a lot of the event because I was with the service folks behind a big black curtain.  However, there was a giant screen in front of us, so I did get to see parts of the speeches and some of the powerpoint (backwards of course).

There were about 12 VCC students helping plate the appetizers, salad, main course, and dessert.  Kam, Diana, Brie, Zach, and I represented our block.  Even though the head chef, Harvey Salmon, was blustering and rushing, there were more than enough hands to get the job done.  At times, we were often left standing around trying to find something to do.  When it came time to plate dinner, everyone formed four assembly lines and then we proceeded to plate 400 plates and they all had to look exactly the same.  The dinner had seven components:  wild and brown rice pilaf, a green pea puree, gai choy, tiny baby carrots, sesame crusted sablefish, pea sprout garnish, and a lemony emulsion.  It sort of felt like I was working in an Eastern bloc communist catering outfit:  Harvey Salmon would come around and yell something, the Rabbi would occasionally peer over our shoulders, then Keiko-san (the sous chef) would holler at us to make the plates nicer, then there would be a stop in the line as the communication broke down between the food runner, the platers, and the servers.  Suddenly things would rev up again and it was go, go, go.  And then it was done and we were left standing around again.  And of course like in any good Communist system, we were being paid to loiter.  Then came dessert.  The final course was a chocolate bombe with an orange pistachio tuile, raspberry coulis, blueberries, and a gold-leafed gooseberry.  It looked beautiful and tasted sweet but delicious.  Right, I forgot to mention that when all the plating was done, and just before clean-up, all of us got to have a little taste of everything.  The dinner was okay, just like wedding food is okay, but the dessert was really yummy.  I think I ate my weight in tuiles, which is no easy feat considering they are paper thin and made mostly of egg-whites.

It's hard out there for a . . .

SEND HELP SOON!

Boy oh boy. I have to admit, I forgot what a social/emotional minefield school is. Tradeschool is so unlike university. I'm finding it to be more like an academic limbo: somewhere between highschool and college. The geography of the culinary trades class is far more diverse than anything I experienced at Capilano College, UBC, or SFU. Some of my peers are in the last throws of puberty and sitting on a precipice between teenage angst and adult responsibility. It feels as though others have always scorned academia and even though they are in a college, they seem to rage against the authority of the institution. And then there are the students who approach their learning with spirit of healthy competitiveness and camaraderie. Sometimes, I feel like I am in a liferaft with a few other sane people. And our chefs -- they're on the big ship (the one that can save us) BUT, because they only see us for one month before they pass us along, they aren't able to effectively evaluate and eliminate the classroom dysfunction. Soooo, no life-buoy for us.

This situation is exacerbated by the fact that the goals of each individual, are hardly homogeneous. Of the sixteen people in our class (we started with 20), I know that at least a third of us have no interest in ever working in a production kitchen. The other two thirds may be focused on the food industry as a goal, but whether they will actually make it to the top is doubtful. I think a lot of students have their eye set on that brass ring of one day becoming an executive chef, a restaurant owner, or even a celebrity TV chef. And, I think that a number of my classmates feel that this will somehow be handed to them without the necessary slogging through dishpits and sweating it out in a windowless kitchen while working the line for minimum wage.

So much of what I've seen in the kitchen classroom reminds me of what I used to see in the highschool classroom. There is petulance, bullying, violent behaviour, dishonesty and cattiness. All of this has led me to reflect on my own teaching practice. So often, I've sat around with my colleagues over pitchers of ale asking the same tired teacher question: "I'm putting good material out there. I'm giving them a show. It's like a circus. So, why does it feel like nobody is learning?" Well now I know why. It's hard to learn while the sharks are circling. It's hard to learn when people are stealing your equipment or putting all of their effort into looking busy instead of being busy. It's hard to learn when you look at your neighbour who is burning something for the tenth time and then you realize that by not burning something you're automatically doing better. I think I know why my students couldn't always learn. Sometimes I wasn't teaching effectively, but it wasn't always me. I think it's easy to blame the teacher but the social environment seems to have so much more influence. I am finding it increasingly difficult to hear my instructor through the fog of bad behaviour that is enveloping our block.

I know that I have to lift myself up. Other classmates are also bothered by the behaviour they've seen. A handful of us have discussed this over a pint (or two), but it has all left me wondering where the tipping point is. I guess it all comes back to an internal locus of control. Now that I realize I've let my sense of work ethic and commitment slip, it's up to me to push myself. I am my own competitor. Even though it is hard, I need to focus on being the best human I can be in that class. As a teacher, that's all I've ever asked of my students: that they be the best human they can be; that they not get caught up in the little things that don't matter; that they open their minds to the beauty and possibilities of academia. Even the very best student can be better. So now it is my turn to practice what I preach. It's hard. It makes me remember my teen years.

I loved highschool. I liked every part of it (even the bad stuff), but I don't want to do it again. I guess, what I'm saying is I know how to help myself, now I just have to do it.

Meanwhile back in the Kitchen . . .

Since I haven't blogged consistently for the last 20 odd days. I am going to give you a speed update of the top twenty things that have happened in the class. First we must travel back in time to Block 3 (you may remember this as my Month of Bacon)

20. We made beautiful desserts. Brie covertly took these photos on her phone.19. Chef Ritchie announced that our class, collectively, had the worst attendance he had ever seen in 10 years at VCC. Those of us who were present, and on time, looked at each other, shrugged, and said "Yes Chef!" in a somewhat feeble manner. The students who were absent, took no notice and carried on with their abysmal attendance.

18. Our block switched from drinking at the dirty Cambie Pub to drinking at the far more charming and comfortable Railway Club. The Railway has Guinness. Hooray for Guinness. We only ever have "just one" each.

17. Zach has still failed to learn how to tie his chef's tie and Diana has been tying it for him on a daily basis for four months now. He feels no shame over this. However, I believe Diana is starting to feel some shame. At least a little bit. If Diana decides not to show up for school, Zach may have to stay home too, due to the tie issue. Thereby aggravating the attendance issue.


(Note how happy Zach looks in this photo and how proud Diana is of her handiwork.)


16. The breakfast kitchen nearly exploded when Chef Ritchie tried to deep fry mashed potato cakes in our fryer that had sat dormant for nearly three weeks. Somehow some water must have been spilled in the fryer. So when it was finally turned on, it made a terrific noise, and began to shake as though it was a mighty greasy beast awakening from the depths of some kitchen hell, waiting to explode and coat the whole class in a layer of hot, filthy, unsaturated fat. Chef Ritchie said he even scared himself. And he is a mighty Scotsman, who does not scare easily. So, you can imagine the terror the rest of us felt.

15. Tyson poured another classmate's bavarian cream down the sink due to the fact that it resembled dishwater and it was being "chilled" in a "bain marie" of dishwater and dirty dishes. Said classmate wept. Tyson felt little to no remorse.

14. I learned that bad gelatin can smell and taste very piggy. . . but not in a good bacon-y way.

13. Finally we moved on to Block 4: Stocks, Soups, Sauces, and Cold Kitchen 2 taught by the lovely and fast-talking Chef Irwin. It sounds great, but this is when the real madness began.

12. I was put in a new, almost super-fantastic group with Shameless Seamus, James, Baby Kam, and another classmate who I will simply refer to as Anger Soup. (When I googled "anger soup" this picture came up.)

11. Our group started in the soup rotation of the class. I got to make a number of delicious concoctions: Coney Island Clam Chowder, Herbed Tomato Rice Soup, Chicken Vegetable, Mulligatawny, and Hungarian Goulash. My favourite, by far was the goulash soup and the seafood chowder that Seamus made.

10. James won an entrance scholarship. Most of us were really proud of him. One or two classmates were filled with jealous, impotent rage that was violently taken out on the upstairs boys' bathroom at VCC. (If you've seen Punch Drunk Love, it was the same as the scene where Adam Sandler goes postal on the bathroom)

9. David had his pants stolen again. How David?!!! HOW?!

8. Seamus and Tyson got to volunteer at the Gold Plates Competition. This was a competition between a number of the haute, local restaurants to create uber fabulous and confoundingly delicious food that also looked beautiful. Ty and Shame-O got to work with Tojo who placed second overall. This event helped revive Tyson's belief/love in/for the wonder of food. And I think it probably made both of them better cooks. (For more about Golden Plates, click here)

7. Absenteeism increased, especially on Fridays. There must be something about Friday because one very young, female classmate seems to always fall ill between 9:30 and 10 am. Usually this illness comes on very quickly after she receives a text message in class. I think it might be her phone making her sick. I heard cellular phones can do that.

6. As part of our Block 4 curriculum, we were given a take home assignment on food costing. The questions were crazy and went something like this.

If you are working at 35% food cost, how much does 100 litres of bernaise cost. Consider that the parsley has travelled from New Zealand on the Concord for $5 per mile. The egg yolks were from hand fed bantam hens and the person making the sauce is angry and working very slowly for 25 union dollars an hour. Given this information, what is the menu price for 100 grams of said sauce. Please work to no more than 10 decimal points. You will be given a 1/10000 of a cent margin of error . . . good luck.

I managed to get 100% on the assignment, but about six of us had to work as a collective to make sure we understood the questions.

5. Anger Soup missed a whole week of school thus leaving the rest of us in the lurch when we hit salads.

4. Zach slipped on Tyson's spaghetti noodles and hurt his back. Now he has an excuse for not being able to tie his tie. He is in poor health and suffering from a back ow-ee.

3. I scored my first 100% on the Soup and Stocks Test. Yay me!

2. I started to get tendinitis in both of my shoulders. I feel like a baby tyrannosaurus rex.

1. On November 24th, we move to Block 5: Nighttime Cafeteria Service. This should be a very exciting month. We will also be entering term 2 of our year. Kris and Chris have both decided to leave the program for very valid personal reasons. This will create a big shift in our group as they are two of the older members of the class. Some classmates may not be invited to continue on due to poor marks and attendance. Big changes are in the air. We will be put in new groups and the expectation for our speed and quality of work is about to increase dramatically.

And that is a fairly complete, somewhat biased update of my last month in the kitchen!

9 More Sleeps

There are only nine more sleeps until I go back to school. . . and I am a bit nervous. It has been a long time since I've been a student. Here are a couple of things I'm worried about.

Will I wear the right outfit? Am I going to be the oldest, dumbest, slowest, weirdest kid in class? What if I bring the wrong kind of stationary? What if I accidentally show up on the wrong day, and term is already over, and I've automatically failed? Who will I eat lunch with? Will I get lost? What if all the classes are in German instead of English?

It really is too much to think about. I wish I was starting tomorrow.