Okay, I'm back

Hello readers. . . (that's if I have any left). I know I have been terribly neglectful of my blog. That is why I don't have a cat or a dog, because if you can't take care of a blog. . . well you know the rest. Since my last blog, I have completed my Culinary Studies. It was a exciting, strange, and ultimately fulfilling year that included a number of surprises. Here is a little summary of what went on.

Throughout the months of January, February, March, and April, I had a very fierce flare up of my arthritis. It made school challenging to say the least. During this time I completed the following classes

January/Block 6 - Butchery

The block where I nearly developed gout for the second time.

This was one of the most fantastic blocks. Our instructor Chef Feist is probably one of the most brilliant instructors at VCC. I thought that I was going to be able to work off some of my Christmas weight during this month. Boy was I wrong. A strange phenomenon occurred when I started working with the large sides of meat. Some sort of bloodlust set in, and my inner carnivore could not get enough red meat. I think I ate more veal, lamb, and beef this month than I have in my life. This made my month of bacon seem like a foray into veganism. Speaking of bacon . . .we smoked our own bacon in the butchery from pork bellies that we butchered ourselves. It was awesome.

February/Block 7 - Cafeteria Cooking Lunch Service

The block where our class went crazeeee!

Bring on the madness! During this block, we were under the tutelage of Chef Bain. This was one of the funniest and most kooky teachers we had all year. That, combined with the fact that we were serving lunch to nearly 200 people. It was goodtimes all round. . . sort of. Unfortunately, during this block it had become painfully clear that our class was divided into two factions: group one was made up of high achieving students with great attendance (I was in this group) and group two was made up of lazy, excuse-making, poor-attending, monkeys that didn't do their dishes. Needless to say the class was polarized. It was sort of, just like, highschool except for the fact that we were all supposed to be adults. A couple of goofballs had decided way back in block two that I didn't belong in the class because of the mere fact that I was a school teacher and not planning to enter "the industry". Apparently, lifelong learning was a foreign concept. Too bad for me that this attitude was also accompanied by aggressive hostile behaviour that was generally directed at little ole me. Somehow, I was seen as a symbol of institutional authority. I found all of this ironic considering my last eight years were spent teaching some very difficult special ed. students in one of the toughest inner-city schools in Vancouver. Lucky me, I was in a great group during this month, so it was pretty easy to ignore the nasty behaviour of the trolls in my class. What was hard to ignore was how one especially aggressive student would make crucial cooking errors in the class, and then when he became frustrated would bully weaker, less assertive students. What his motives were, I do not know, but he was very hard to be around.

March/Block 8 - Baking & Desserts 2

The block where I fought a bully and I learned the truth about rumballs.

Flaming rumballs! Guess whose group I ended up in this month!!! That's right Mr. Friendly. This was a rough month. This was one of the blocks I was most looking forward to. I was hoping I would learn some new techniques to add a to my cake baking repertoire. Well, it was not to be. Instead, I was stuck baking pastries and cakes with super disgusting high ratio fat, while trying to get along with a really unpleasant human being. To compound this problem, the very lazy students had somehow developed an over-inflated sense of entitlement and they were out of control. They were super-lazy, messy, petty, and nasty. It felt like the class had been hijacked by the dysfunctional, angst-ridden, smoke-pit-hanging-out lurpers from some nightmarish highschool horror flick. It was unbearable. And then it happened. Mr. Friendly snapped. My dislike for him was as palpable as his dislike for me and on the last day of class, he couldn't hold it in anymore and he unleashed a very loud, abusive, misogynistic, ageist tirade directed at me. I asked him several times to "stop talking to me" and to "please be quiet". Then, when it was all over, I went home and wrote a letter to the Culinary Arts Department Head, the Head of Student Services, and the Human Rights Co-ordinator for the school. I asked that I never be paired with this individual again and that he be forbidden from speaking to me. Initially, the Culinary Arts Department Head was going to hand down a one day suspension, however, after some back room talks (which I was not party to) with the Head of Student Services, Mr. Friendly was removed from our Block and put in the block behind (the same block Anger Soup had been placed in a couple months earlier). All in all, baking was an exhausting month and I don't think I learned very much about, cakes, or bread, or pastries. I did learn a lot about what it feels like to be bullied, how unsatisfying it is when teachers and administrators offer platitudes and quick fixes, and how difficult yet ultimately worthwhile it is to stand up for yourself.

P.S. Rumballs are made up of all the stale cake scraps, rum, leftover icing, and old hot dog wieners. Eat them at your peril.

April/Block 9 - Fine Dining and Front of House

No wine was spilt during this block.

Ahhh the peace. For this month, our class was divided into a nighttime and a daytime shift. We were allowed to pick our own groups, so you can guess how it all shook down. During this block we learned some of the finer points of bartending and waiting. I loved it. One of my first teenager jobs was waitressing in my Aunt and Uncle's Diner, The Jasmine Inn.

I get a kick out of wacky customers and carrying big trays full of glasses. And, I had a great group of people to work with. My classmates for the month were Seamus, Tyson, Diana, Andrea, and Vivian. We were also joined by a handful of students from the Aboriginal Culinary Arts Class. This month was soooo relaxing. There was no stress and we got to learn a whole lot about wine, beer, and alcohol production. I think I can now confidently go into a BC Liquor store and buy a decent bottle of wine for under $15. The other great part about this month was the tips. Every night I made at least enough money to pay for my $7 parking and I often had a little bit leftover for just one at the Railway club.

May/Block 10

The Block Where We Ate Everything

So many canapes!

That's right, this was the block where we ate everything. For the first time in 10 months, we were not in a production kitchen. This block was set up to teach us the finer points of plating

and to allow for palate development. When I said we ate everything, I meant it: quail, game hens, liver, fois gras, sweetbreads, rabbit, veal, lamb, beef, chicken, lobster, crab, spot prawns,

clams, mussels, potatoes (every way they can be made), vegetables (1 million different ways),

and desserts. All sorts of desserts. Our instructor was the ever calm and cool Chef Gill. In a

typical day, we would have a very short lecture and then we would each be assigned a task. At the end of the class, we would plate our assignment, review what we had made, and then we would eat it. Oy vey! I had to buy new pants.

If you look closely at the photo to your left you

may note a vacant lost, look in our eyes. Andrea is about to cry and I think Tyson fainted right after this photo was taken. Melek and I soldiered on.

A sidenote: Normalcy gradually returned to the class once the bully was removed. The universe seemed to re-align itself and everyone relaxed a little bit for the final three months.

June/Block 11 - Fine Dining Lunch Service

The Block where I seethed and renewed my "feminist card".

There are no pictures of this block because it stunk. I didn't like the food and our instructor was a JERK. He was unpleasant, abusive, and nasty. Most of the class was on constant high alert, wary that our "teacher" was going to lose it on one of us. This was my worst experience as a student. . . ever. I didn't appreciate being called "darling" by an insecure older man, who assumed that because his chef's hat was bigger than mine, he could behave like a chauvinist. I also did not take kindly to classmates who tried to tell me this was what "the industry" was like. Chauvinism and bullying are not "the industry". They are just good, old fashioned, un-evolved, bad behaviour. If this had been a university course, I would have withdrawn on the first day. This experience reminded me why its important to be a feminist. The feminist movement didn't necessarily change men, but it did change the way a lot of women think about themselves (including me). My second foray into post-secondary education, has truly made me appreciate the liberal arts education I received the first time round. I was so mad I almost stopped shaving my legs.

On a positive note: During this month, four of us were awarded culinary arts scholarships. Melek, Tyson, and Andrea were honoured for their hard work and good scholarship. I was awarded the Dr. Gerald Korn scholarship for top student. The scholarship helped cover the last of my tuition! Huzzah! It was a good surprise and it helped lift me up during a month when I really needed it.

July/Block 12 - And so it Ends. . .

Chef Gill saves the day.

And then it all just ended. Our final month was great. Chef Gill was our instructor once more, and boy oh boy was he putting on a show in the dining room. The menu was fantastic, local, and super-fresh. On top of that, whenever a staff member or relative was dining in JJ's, Chef Gill would often make a special first course, or let us make a special something for the VIP guest. During this month, I finally felt like I was experiencing that culinary fantasy I had dreamed about before this adventure began. The food was great. The instruction was fantastic and the class had finally gelled as a team. And then. . . it all just ended.

Our last day was a buffet night. I experimented with a few desserts. After class, there were short speeches and we all had a champagne toast from the bubbles Andrea, Diana, and I had snuck into the class. Afterwards, we headed over to the Commodore Lanes for pirate-themed bowling. Our group was small, but our fun was big. Of the original 19 students only 10 of us had made it through the whole course. Along the way we were joined by Billy (block 7) and Melek (block 9). And only 8 of us went to the bowling extravaganza. Melek had dinner with her family to celebrate her shiny new Canadian citizenship. The other three, less than stellar, students were a bit sheepish in the final days and they found some cosmic reason, that involved hospitals and out of town relatives, not to bowl.

The rest of us had a pirate-tastic time. Since I am nearly tea-total due to my arthritis, I had the fun time of watching my classmates get progressively drunker, and less interested in bowling, throughout the night. It was certainly amusing.

Here is the evidence:

Super-Sexy Pirate Diana

Also Super-Sexy Pirate Andrea.

Please notice that she is wearing a Betsy Johnson pirate belt.

Me and Pirate Vivian

(Please note my home-made pirate shirt and hat.)

Pirate Brie

Sooo scary!

Pirate Baby Kam also in a homemade shirt.

He had homemade pirate pants but they were too tight.

Me and Pirate Tyson and Pirate Seamus

Seamus went for the modern pirate look.

We were just glad he abandoned his first idea to come as a Somali Pirate.

I know, it's one of those do I laugh or cringe statements.

And then. . . it was all over!

However, there is more. Fate has decided that my adventures in the kitchen will continue. I'll tell you all about it in the next post. And yes, I will post.